Maya is seven weeks old now, and although to us she looks basically the same as she did the last time we posted pics of her (seven weeks ago), I'm sure she is growing and changing to outside observers so we'll post some pictures.
Ben and I have spent quite a few evening chats trying to put into numbers and formulas what life has been like with four kids. Honestly, we are not very overwhelmed by the everydayness of having four kids. What overwhelms us, though, is thinking about the fact that we have four children and what that means in terms of the possible family combinations. One night we calculated how many total relationships there now are between individuals and groups of individuals in our six-person family (192), each of which has its own special considerations. We also figured out that there are dozens of possible ways (maybe 43? our records fail us) to split our family into two groups with a parent in each group (which is important because breaking the family into two groups with both parents in the same group doesn't have many practical applications). We also calculated that there are 63 different ways our family of six can be arranged into a single group (ranging from a one-person group to a six-person group). The overall conclusion is that, although adding one person hasn't made a huge difference in our everyday lives so far, the combinatoric-mathematical effects of adding 25% to our number of children are large. Lots more connections, lots more relationships, lots more combinations, yet just one more chance to watch a human grow. It's sometimes hard to think of her as a fully formed person at this point because she's such a squirt and doesn't demand much but, according to the precedent set by her older siblings, she will no doubt quickly morph into a more humanly being.
The other night we also constructed a graph for the relationship between how old a person is and the perceived speed of a year: the graph maps the inverse proportion between time in years (t) and the perceived length of every additional year (y). The graph looks something like this (X-axis is t, or age; Y-axis is perceived change of every additional year):
Or to put it otherwise: as Aaron, who has long been an 'old soul,' once said when he was three or four: "It takes a long time to grow up." That is true, and at the same time wrong. Time is tricky. It's very difficult to control the speed of our perception of time. (Are there many non-chemical ways to elect to make time feel slower or faster?) I am enjoying Maya as a little squirt of a person but simultaneously I feel like the experience is colored by the fact that I realize how incredibly short this period is. While sorting through Libbie's clothes and taking out the ones that are too small, I found myself wondering if it is even worth packing them away to wait for Maya to grow into them. It wasn't very long ago when Libbie was a little squirt like Maya, so it won't be too long before Maya will fit into Libbie's clothes. These sentiments are so trite, I know. Time flies--at least for us parents! Kids grow up fast. Etc., etc. We all know these things, but still, experiencing them first hand can be a bit dizzying. Almost everyday Ben and I look at each other, smile, comment on how amazing our life is, and talk about how wonderful our kids are. This is a great time of life, just like every other time of life has been and hopefully will be. It's
all good. And when we remember that fact, I think it's easier to enjoy each of the moments in their individual splendor. Not in a way where we feel guilty about not enjoying difficult times, but in a way where we can look at our overall situation in life at any given moment in time and say, Yes, this is me and I am happy with it.
I just pulled out an old notebook from when I was in high school. Reading my teenage thoughts, I laughed remembering that teenager on-top-of-the-world zest I had so strongly back then, but I think the sentiment I wrote back then is still right, once you control for all the excess sappiness and naivete... "Life is such an easy thing to understand. There is so much potential in a lifetime. Think of all the people you can meet, all the things you can learn, all the fun you can have. It's almost overwhelming. I love every single second of my life. Every age, every situation is like a new challenge I can't wait to learn from. Never do I wish that I were at a different point in my life. What's the point? ... The number one most important thing in life is to be happy. Don't blame anyone but yourself if you become someone you don't want to be. Love yourself."
Here are some of the things that fill my life lately. These times, like every other, are good times.
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| Maya smiling at five weeks |
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| Libbie asks to hold Maya several times a day |
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| And so does Elliot |
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| Okay, they all love to hold Maya. Who wouldn't? |
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| Sometimes Libbie becomes desperate to hold Maya even when it is not practical, like when we are on a family hike. We adjust accordingly. |
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| Libbie trying to make her two-handed standard silly face with one hand |
And then, every once in awhile, we get to do this...
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| Watching Avatar: The Last Airbender on our home projector |
Life is good.
